Thursday, March 10, 2011

STUDENTS OF JPNCE COLLEGE


1. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hui class?”
“Attendance ho gayi kya??”
“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”
“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu……… bolna ……. kal kya
padaya tha isne”
“Ek page de na………. abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga…….”
” koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”
“wo bhi iss class ke liye ”

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss!!!! Sirrr…….The answer is
……..huuuummmmm……..aaaaaaaa………….”
“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir….”
“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”
“Abe lecture ko maar goli….. Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”
“Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh”
“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya…….gadha…….”
“Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain ..”
“Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!”

3. Lab:

“Expt. 2 likha??”
“last time tu aaya the kya?”"
“Karna kya hai??”
“Yeh bhai…..merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata……..”
“Areee tu to bura maan gaya …….chal dikha na…..bhau kyo kata
hai….”

4. Internels :

“Internel test???? ……Aree yaar…… ”
“Kya…….. abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga….”
“Oye Sushil kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail….”
After test……
“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen
chalega…” SAHI !!

5. For attendance

“I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya ”
“Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega……..”
“Bola tha proxy regularly maar…….. Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua…..”

6. Late submission of assignments:

” Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena”
“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya……..”
“They should allow XEROX………sala system hi kharab hai ”

7 . After exam:

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt…”
“kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya”
“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….
Gaya ……….fail pakka…….”
“Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena……..wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar……”

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”
“Aeee…….Akash…..terese kya kya poocha….mood kaisa hai..”
“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”
“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai”

9 . Submission:

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”
“kaat kaat ke likh le…kaon padhta hai”
“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”
“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”
“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

10 .Copying Assignments:

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”
(The best one)
“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal”
“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”
” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar.”
“Koi hint……..”
“Are baba ghaseet de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”

11. Exam:

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai” ..VERY VERY TRUE !!
“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar….to ab kya poochenge”
“ye last time hi poochha thaa……is baar nahi aana chahiye”
“tere paas is ke notes hai??”
“Neend aa rahi mujhe to…thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka”
“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)”
“nahi samjha to rat le” – PERFECT ONE
“Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai……..”
“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……….”
I AGREE !! !!

Hmm ! Those dayz never return !                      

                                                                                                                                      --Varun
Read More!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage



Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.



Married men lived longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.


 :)                                                                                 
                                                                                                                          --Varun
Read More!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Reason Why I Never Visit a 5 * (Five Star) Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer 
: " Tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, 
honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question: "White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst



                                                                                            ---Varun
Read More!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What Is True Love - Know Your Feelings


Do you know what is called as True Love?. Are you having some feelings towards somebody special? Read below to know whether your feelings are Love or not.
  • Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?
    -It isn't love, it's LIKE.
  • You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right?
    -It isn't love, it’s LUST.
  • Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
    -It isn't love, it’s LUCK.
  • Do you want her because you know she's there??
    -It isn't love, it’s LONELINESS.
  • Are you with her because it’s what everyone wants??
    -It isn't love, it’s LOYALTY.
  • Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
    -It isn't love, its LOW CONFIDENCE.
  • Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her?
    -It isn't love, it’s PITY.
  • Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
    -It isn't love, it’s INFATUATION.

  • Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
    -It isn't love, it’s FRIENDSHIP.
  • Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
    -It isn't love, it’s a LIE.
  • Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
    -It isn't love, it’s CHARITY.
  • Does your heart ache and breaks when she's sad?
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong?
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is?
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
    -Then it's LOVE.
  • Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
    -Then it's LOVE.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony?

Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple because it's...LOVE.

It is such addictive things that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.


"The greatest weakness of humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they are still alive"


                                                                                                                           --vaun
Read More!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

True Love - Heart Touching...


The man fought for the US in the war against IRAQ and after returning, he had got married with the same girl he was in Love with her before going to war... Real true Love indeed...

Hats off to the girl... What? You didn't find greatness? See the following picturess then you will agree with me…..

























true love --


                                                                                              ---Varun
Read More!

It is All About How You See


What you see in this first photo? Man sitting and 2 persons standing?
Ok look carefully.. Can you see anything special in this photo?Ok look carefully.. Can you see anything special in this photo?

 

 Can you try again?

 

 

Ok .. Scroll down to see the image in different angle, ie. different perseption...








Scroll down to see the actual image...









Scroll down to see the actual image...











Scroll down to see the actual image...











Scroll down to see the actual image...












Watch this  image now...





It all matters how we see or show the things.. Isn't it?


                                                                                              -Varun
Read More!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Why We Behave Like This ?? ? ?

 On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years."

The cow objected, "What? This kind of a tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll give back to you." So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, "You are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give a life span of 20 years."

The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God agreed.

On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, "Monkeys have to entertain people. You've got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span."

The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give you back." So God agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll give you a 20 year life span."

The man objected. "What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?" So God agreed.

AND THAT'S WHY.... In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people! :-) Read More!
U might also like:

This One is for Girls:

Why We Behave Like This ?? ? ?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...