Thursday, March 10, 2011

STUDENTS OF JPNCE COLLEGE


1. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hui class?”
“Attendance ho gayi kya??”
“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”
“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu……… bolna ……. kal kya
padaya tha isne”
“Ek page de na………. abey pen bhi to de, nahi to kisse
likhunga…….”
” koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”
“wo bhi iss class ke liye ”

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss!!!! Sirrr…….The answer is
……..huuuummmmm……..aaaaaaaa………….”
“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir….”
“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”
“Abe lecture ko maar goli….. Kareena kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”
“Uski tshirt pe kya likha hai dekh”
“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha kya…….gadha…….”
“Kya bore kar raha hai. Bola tha canteen chalte hain ..”
“Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go now!!!”

3. Lab:

“Expt. 2 likha??”
“last time tu aaya the kya?”"
“Karna kya hai??”
“Yeh bhai…..merko pata hota to tere pass kyon aata……..”
“Areee tu to bura maan gaya …….chal dikha na…..bhau kyo kata
hai….”

4. Internels :

“Internel test???? ……Aree yaar…… ”
“Kya…….. abe unit test mein itna sara topic hai to final mein kya
hoga….”
“Oye Sushil kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi
aaya to mein pakka fail….”
After test……
“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen
chalega…” SAHI !!

5. For attendance

“I was in the class, attendence bolna bhool gaya ”
“Oye usko thoda khush kar list se tera naam hata dega……..”
“Bola tha proxy regularly maar…….. Saale tera class karne ka kya
faida hua…..”

6. Late submission of assignments:

” Maine us ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein
submit kar dena”
“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya……..”
“They should allow XEROX………sala system hi kharab hai ”

7 . After exam:

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya? Shitt…”
“kya bol raha hai yaar..aise karna tha kya”
“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….
Gaya ……….fail pakka…….”
“Yaar notice lagte hi hata dena……..wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh
kar……”

8 . VIVA (b4 exam):

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”
“Aeee…….Akash…..terese kya kya poocha….mood kaisa hai..”
“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”
“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak
preparation nahi hui hai”

9 . Submission:

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”
“kaat kaat ke likh le…kaon padhta hai”
“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”
“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”
“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

10 .Copying Assignments:

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”
(The best one)
“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha
hai uska drawing nikal”
“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”
” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar.”
“Koi hint……..”
“Are baba ghaseet de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”

11. Exam:

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai
woh NAHI aata hai” ..VERY VERY TRUE !!
“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai yaar….to ab kya poochenge”
“ye last time hi poochha thaa……is baar nahi aana chahiye”
“tere paas is ke notes hai??”
“Neend aa rahi mujhe to…thodi der so jata hoo..utha diyo pakka”
“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks
the story)”
“nahi samjha to rat le” – PERFECT ONE
“Iss paper mein roll number ke kya order hai……..”
“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……….”
I AGREE !! !!

Hmm ! Those dayz never return !                      

                                                                                                                                      --Varun
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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage



Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.



Married men lived longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.


 :)                                                                                 
                                                                                                                          --Varun
Read More!
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